Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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