I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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