So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
