Its about making memories worth repressing
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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