That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I got inside last night via doggy door
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
