who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
