I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
