Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
