Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
