Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
