lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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