hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
