SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
