We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He shit in the fireplace
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
