Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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