i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
