Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
