how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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