Your face is a jimmy john
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
