i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
