Your tits are I can't wait for
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
