You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
