some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
