There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
