OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
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