ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
