That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
