actually, I'm a sock model
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
