did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
