i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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