If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
