Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
