All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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