go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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