hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
