i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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