Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
wow bdsm is so cute
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
