Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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