ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
