she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
