Small penises have feelings too.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
