Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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