I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
