he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize