I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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