That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
