Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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