so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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