I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I want to fling myself into the sun
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
