If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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